Just Covering My Arse
(aka “Legalese” and other notables)
This is our only warranty: At some point in your life,
you will die and you will pay taxes; even after your death.
No other warranties are expressed or implied.
Life is not fair. Anyone who tells you different is lying. We all know that bad things can happen to nice people. Even the best planned vacations can go awry and your fishing plans may get screwed up.
Delayed or cancelled flights, lost luggage, lost spouses, lost kids: it's not my fault.
Lousy rental car, lousy hotel, lousy food, lousy weather: it's not my fault.
Seasickness, sunburns, whiplash, heart attacks, strokes, diarrhea, etc.: it's not my fault.
On the boats, there could be mechanical breakdowns, equipment failures, personnel changes: it's not my fault.
You may not catch a single fish: it's not my fault.
Information contained on this web site is believed to be somewhat accurate. As much of the information is provided by the individual boat owners, we are not responsible for their misrepresentations, nor are we responsible for information posted on other web sites or blogs.
If using this web site crashes your computer; burns your house down; destroys your TV; causes an electrical spike that knocks our all electrical energy within a ten mile radius of your computer; won't work on your computer; misaligns your stars; brings about the doomsday; impregnates your dog; causes any harm to you, your possessions, or anybody you know (or don't know; anything you own or don't own); pisses you off; gives you seizures; or causes you the slightest bit of un-enjoyment, it is not our fault and we cannot be held accountable, because we warned you.
Finally, I am not a lawyer and I can't afford one, so I figured the best thing to do would be to add any disclaimer I could find. So here goes.
The Fine Print....
Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Caution: the meal will be hot! This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Caution, may contain nut products. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Caveat Emptor. Look both ways before crossing the street. Always wear safety belt. No peddlers, solicitors or agents. Danger, shark infested waters. Slippery when wet.
Most importantly... Don't forget to breathe!
P.S. - All images and text appearing on this web site are considered intellectual properties. You do not have the right to use these properties without the consent of the principals!